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Bondi Media

Moral Precepts are for 🧘 Poseurs

Great thing about being a reactionary ra-tard is being able to waffle on about issues without actually saying anything substantive and the bogan base of all conservatism will buy into my 💩 because they be stoo-ped as fuck. Liken integrity to being a poseur and you've got 'em by the pussy — you do not even have to mount a coherent argument! 😆

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@ginnyrose

Moral and intellectual honesty and integrity are the most overrated characteristics of any Australian. Conceptually (which doesn't actually mean anything but saying it makes me sound heaps clever), the non-problem with such terms is that it is so easy to ‘muddy the waters’ … put words in the mouths of others and misdirect their intentions. 😲

One thing, in particular, that gets me soaking fucking wet is putting on a smug anti-intellectual smirk and pointing to (usually non-existent) issues with any progressive point of view. From this advantageous place I can just drop in selected tropes and aphorisms — no matter how irrelevant — just as long as I do it confidently. Saying someone's a hypocrite simply because there's a suggestion there may be another explanation works fucking wonders! 👏

Or, even better, if they've argued in any other way for a similar — but not identical issue on a previous occasion — they're fucked!

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@barcelocarl

And always remember to throw in terms like ‘cultural comrades’ which does double-duty implying socialism and elitism! 😱 From that powerful pseudo-intellectual position anything goes so, double-down on doubt with ‘micro-inconsistencies’ (enabling us to get away with any self-referenced double standards in order to diminishing our own culpability). Then, deliver the coup de grace terms … ‘morally significant’ and ‘twisting principles’ for maximum effect! 👍 Principled pilates, my arse!

For example … the (normally horrible and hated, but they suit my purposes this time) ABC sacked a journo (who is now suing them) for posting on social media. But (and here's the clever bit) that journo had previously and publicly defended someone's sacking for posting to social media!? Moral contortionism! Hypocrisy! Cunt! I can even disingenuously claim that I'm ‘not the first’ to observe the journo's apparent double-standard. Except …

The other ‘victim’ of unfair dismissal was a prominent god-bothering cretin who wished ill on people because they didn't subscribe to his foul fucking deity's primitive ooga-booga fucking nonsense — completely fucking different.

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@sonniehiles

But, by tapping into any cunty cwreepy chrwistian readers I can say (vicariously) ‘repent you drunks, homosexuals, adulterers, liars, fornicators, thieves, atheists and idolators!’ Seriously though, the journo used careful language to not antagonise those dumb enough to actually believe the bible and instead stuck to employment process and protocols when they defended the ABC's decision. But that weakness lets me denigrate their ‘conversion journey’ and anyone naive enough to fight for a better future and truth.

Aha 😂 aha 🤪 aha 😜 aha 😝 aha 🤣 ha!

I won't even mention the fact that the ABC had also posted and reported on the exact same information the journo was sacked for (because that would have made this entire article pointless) nor should I attempt to explain even more obvious fundamental differences between the two cases …

The journos posts are either demonstrably true and correct, or, there actually is a god who hates you. We report — you decide!

I'll also have a crack at the Woolworths debacle while I'm at it. First, I'll pretend that conservatives really are on the side of workers by, as always, disingenously suggesting Woolies are somehow being undemocratic not selling 💩 because we're not buying their values — we want cheaper prices and 💩 and this requires my own contortion! Then, I'll accuse them of peddling (like a drug dealer) values — but not our values! What does that even mean?!

Aha 😂 aha 🤪 aha 😜 aha 😝 aha 🤣 ha!

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@katiebush

Saving the most dishonest best for last … what about Usman Khawaja's shoes!? I mean, I won't acknowledge that he was trying to use terms like ‘all lives are equal’, instead, I'll dishonestly portray Labor's apparent support as hypocritical because as a reactionary dogrootering cunt devoid of decency and integrity … It's what I fucking do! 👏

But, just in case you've lost track of my erudition, I'll also use words like ‘sanguine’ and ‘anodyne’ to make my point about the term ‘all lives matter’ getting confused with what Usman actually said …

‘All lives matter’ (as I very well know) is a racist white supremacist term used to counter the ‘Black Lives Matter’ protests but because some in Australia confused/conflated the two sayings, I'm ‘suggesting’ 🤣 they mean the same fucking thing (when, again, they clearly do not).

And this, dear listeners, let's me use Labor's call denouncing the racist term (which they rightly called ‘disgusting’ when condemning the C🪨al-ition for using it) as hypocritical. To gloss over this wilful ignorance I'll quickly chuck in a few ‘flips’ which mean nothing but are easily digestible by those who are ignorant and/or need pictures to follow the fuck along. Oh, and the word ‘warriors’ gets in blokes like Peter ‘dumndumerer’ Dutton — bonus! 🍻

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@markusspiske

Finally, make sure to point out the ABC doesn't employ conservatives — which works by making you appear objective (even if ‘conservative’ is code for ignorant uninformed dishonest cunts). Also, claim we live in a liberal society when we're usually stuck in a Liberal one. Finish with triggering terms like ‘noble’ and ‘human’ to confirm that celebrating Ozstraaylia! 🦘🇦🇺 is worthwhile!

Please don't forget what I'm most proud of — that being — I am so dishonest and so devoid of integrity that whenever I am airing my putrid ♨️ pussy — even flies 🪰 die when they alight on it. 🤮

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Guest commentator Putrid Puss-Eh McGuiness has a head like a bashed crab and the personality to match. Before gender affirming surgery, they self-harmed but, now, run an ‘agency’ specialising in social media posts about nothing and advising real dum cunts on how to avoid the 💩 when it hits the fucking fan. They live alone in Zetland, where they fucking belong.