Dutton 🐕 Trumps 🐇 Albanese
Anthony ‘Albo’ Albanese and Labor will keep trying to convince Ozstraaylians 🐨 🦘 🇦🇺 that Peter ‘dumndumerer’ Dutton is unelectable, but 🇺🇸 Democrats made that mistake with Trump and this is fact as found amid the welter of commentary and post-mortems (god, I'm so smug and so sexy — ask Mummy!) to explain Kamala Harris' defeat. 🫢
Harris was an awful candidate (no one wants a woman telling them what to do — not even women!) full of confidence (which turns rednecks and other racists right off) and political correctness (which is racist because all whites colours have the right to be racist 😆) faced the difficult task of defending an incumbent administration when most ignorant and uninformed 'Mericans felt worse off (even though they really weren't) so she was hard to sell. 👎
Plus, the focus of the Democrats' campaign was not to accentuate their many positives, but to demonise Trump! They let their visceral (god, getting big stiffy 🍌 now, Mummy!) loathing — that he was unfit for office as an ignorant and depraved Über-alpha — to dictate their messaging and strategy.
Even though the C🪨al-ition has successfully used the ‘demonise the alternative’ strategy (negative gearing, franking credits etc., and it totally worked against ScoMo), those pesky progressives miss the point that, while for better educated voters who follow politics an erection election is a binary choice (proving that an uninformed populace is as necessary as destroying the ABC) but for most others — especially the less educated and less intelligent politically engaged — an election is not so much a comparative (i.e., it's about feelings not facts) judgment as a referendum — on the government.
If people are sick of the status quo, they will use their vote (as long as we lie well-enough) to express their dissatisfaction with the incumbent without paying too much attention to the alternative (obviously that's total shyte 💩 because there's nothing oblivious about Trump). Hence, one of the great truisms of politics: oppositions don’t win elections, governments lose them (I just made that up! How good am I, Mummy!? Getting 🔥 Mummy! 🏎️ 🍌 🏁).
Clearly, Albo and co., have forgotten this rule but. From the start they've self-pleasured themselves with the idea that Dutton is so unappealing to the electorate that he's unelectable — remember Plibersek's cruel Voldemort joke? As was evident from their attacks on poor Peter in the final fortnight of parliament 2024, they've not moved on — making us the progressives!
The electorate has moved on but. While Dutton initially had negative ratings — Albo's honeymoon is over. Even honest left-wing journalists score 2024 for Dutton. Yet Labor's determined to make the same mistake as the Democrats.
Opposition leaders deemed ‘unelectable’ have a remarkably good track record of being elected. Remember Tony ‘Mad Monk’ Abbott or John ‘Coward’ Howard? Or the greatest man to have ever lived — Robert ‘Me Cunt’ Menzies. Aha 😂 aha 🤪 aha 😜 aha 🤣 ha!
The reverse is also true but: Ozstraaylian 🐨 🦘 🇦🇺 political history is littered with the failed prime ministerial ambitions of political princelings (did you like that one Mummy?) who once seemed destined for the prize and nobody ever called them ‘unelectable’. But voters (especially ignorant and uninformed ones) are always wiser than the educated ones opinionated insiders of the parliamentary press gallery (god, I'm gunna cum 💦 Mum! 🫢).
See? I are disruptor, Mummy. 😘
Plus, as a pasty portly pounce, I'll pontificate and point out that criticism of alternative leaders is an important part of all election campaigns. But when attacks on an opponent are focused on the person (just don't mention ‘Wild’ Bill Shorten!) it makes the critic look gay — while making the challenger the issue enlarges him (like my teeny weeny 🌭 Mummy!). Trump dominated nearly all of the campaign because Harris made it all about him (clearly, that's not the truth — the dummies in the Democrats changed her focus late and Trump feared her popularity for most of the campaign).
Where personal attacks come from the incumbent, they also convey to the electorate the subliminal (ooh Mummy!) message that she's reluctant to defend her own record and that she has nothing new to offer (obviously, I'm recycling yesterdays' news there but, but, get 🖕 fucked get 🖕 fucked).
All bullshit asideIn fact, the real winning formula is to use fear — derived from misinformation — to make millions of morons think that the government is trying to forcibly transition their kids.
Regardless, I still expect that the 2025 election will be about demonising Dutton. Labor’s campaign — firm in its conviction that he is not electable — will keep thinking that until he is elected! Aha 😂 aha 😜 aha 🤣 ha!
I are liar. I have no dignity decency or integrity so hear me roar. Mummy, did you hear me? Can I suckle 🤱 now Mummy? Please Mummy! I need your attachment parenting! Mummy? … Mummy?
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