Royally Wrong 🎅 Christmas
The ‘royal editor’ over at the (UK) Tele' has weighed in on the king Charles III christmas day message trying to spin it in a positive light. According to her, his message showed the new king's vision for his reign has never been clearer — not that anyone in their right fucking mind fucking cares.
The editor also reckons having ‘the firm’ and the randomly cast dysfunctionals that make up the royal fucking family ‘together but separate’ is a good thing. Somehow, having some tampon wealthy git admit that plebs were undergoing ‘great anxiety and hardship’ at this time is something to be lauded.
Christmas morn' there was an ‘all-family outing at Sandringham for the traditional walk to church as young cousins held hands and three generations chatted to the jolly crowds’. There was also randy Andy. They're bringing him back kids — they're bringing this creep back after penance and public rehab — he's going to be back. 🤮 Epstein won't be 'cause he fucking brown bread! 😵
Even fucking Fergie got a flag! Good on 'er for being visibly delighted to be invited. But best of all (according to the editor), was Charles focussing ‘firmly on the working royal family he so values’. Tampons Values and royalty? 🤔
Sorry, but not inspiring in the fucking slightest has been Charles' plans for a streamlined monarchy and for royal women to receive a tampon clothing allowance. They're under fucking siege this mob. But then …
Sweetest … was nine-year-old Mia Tindall [too young for
tamponseven randy Andy], who held Prince Louis’ hand and helped the Wales family with their piles of flowers and presents in an unselfconscious display of cousinly 👩❤️💋👨 love. Fuck. 🤮
Or, just as bad …
It was the family back to doing what they have always done best, in a model perfected by the late Queen … [Elton John?]
And, if you are one of the billions of tampons humans who don't actually know or fucking care who this fucking Charles character is …
Apparently, the absence of personal family photos from Charles' speech in favour of tampons images ‘tightly edited to the family on-the-job’ 🤯 speaks volumes about how he's approaching his role and tampons don't you fucking dare forget William and (especially) the very handsome Catherine (we'd like to be her tampon hair), have their own causes — environmental, homelessness, mental health, tampons and they're heroically 🦸🏻♀️ easing their young children into public life at their own fucking pace!? 🥂
That they released their own striking photograph on Christmas Day spoke to that freedom; a stylish soft-porn style black and white shot of Prince George, Princess Harlotte and Prince Louis a marked contrast with the traditional festive scenes happening live and riotously reported by grubby tabloids. Children all over the fucking world are dying in their fucking thousands but that's OK as long as they're not fucking rich christian and white.
In years gone by (who fucking says that?) this photo would have been seen as unwelcome competition — multiple royal tampons photographs and news stories on the same day competing for attention with the king’s big moment! 🤨
But wait, there's more because the king seemed as relaxed as he’s ever been, at the heart of a fun-filled family whose tampons members put on a delighted show for the tampons crowds. 🍻
Lest we forget but, Harry didn't get a tampon flag because the firm feared he'd turn up wearing those tampons brothel creepers again! A legitimate fucking concern because he be a tampon loose fucking cannon! 🧨
If his first Christmas as king was as much about his mother’s absence as his presence, the watching world still grieving her and adjusting to a new face on their screens, the second put into action the
tamponCarolean era the public will come to know … 🫨
Anywhoo … as a sun-burnt pissed pom on the 380 once said …
Bring back the inter-fucking-regnum.
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