ScoMo No Mo' 👍
As my beloved Scott ‘ScoMo’ Morrison leaves parliament for the last fucking time, we honour his legacy — no matter how dreadful (or imaginary) it really is. I mean, there has been so much criticism of his prime ministership, especially by the ABC's Nemesis series, that his achievements have been obscured in the avalanche of negatives! 😟
OK, so even I can't deny his serious errors of judgment, like (to gloss over one the most egregious), I never understood the secret ministries any more than I get meta fucking data (Damn you Malcolm! Damn you!). Yet, one should never forget that every prime ministership is a balance sheet of achievements and mistakes (obviously, that's as morally and intellectually dishonest as saying Adolf Hitler made trains run on time so forget about the other stuff — but, hey, I get paid by the fucking word 😂).
And speaking of words, you all know how wordy words get me going! 🏎️ 🍌 🏁 so I'll introduce the long perspective of history and how legacies matter most, while the ephemera (aka all the boo-boos) fade from memory. For Scott Morrison, as for other former PMs, those legacies ultimately define him (by denying there's anything to see 👀 here, there or anywhere).
Next, I'll get the #ScottyfromMarketing stuff out of the way. I mean, Mike Carlton was just being mean when he wrote …
Over the years I have met, reported on and/or interviewed every Prime Minister, from Menzies to Turnbull. Some l knew well. Others barely at all. None was as shallow, as hollow, so utterly devoid of the qualities of leadership as
#ScottyfromMarketing…
But however flawed, all … Prime Ministers had a vision for the nation, of what we might become. They had policy ambitions, a sense of direction, a concept of the demands of leadership.
Morrison exhibits nothing of this. Scratch the surface and there is nothing there. He is a glib charlatan, a mountebank, a sideshow juggling act, an empty and frivolous collection of slogans and cliches. He is, beyond any doubt, our worst Prime Minister.
But what about AUKUS, our most (un)important strategic initiative since ANZUS? It was conceived and delivered by ScoMo; it simply would not have happened without him because #ScottyfromMarketing is actually the world's best marketer! (even though it's probably a complete dud of a deal that will drain fucking billions with no net gain other than nuclear submarine waste).
He also succeeded 😜 where every other cunty C🪨al-ition leader had failed to ‘commit’ 😹 Australia to net-zero emissions (even though that so-called ‘agreement’ is a complete fucking chimera). Climate change is a myth!
He steered careened 🤣 Australia through Covid, the greatest civil emergency in our history (even though he continually fucked up and lied as with: vaccine supply, footy game attendance leading to super-spreading, hiding Inquiry into the Ruby Princess witnesses, the sexual and social assault of women, Covid testing and vaccine refusal and courting conspiracy theorists while denying Black Lives Matter and threatening Australian citizens with jail because they had subcontinental ancestry, special Covid exemption father's day flights for his family, sending parliament home from 'work' early but then decreasing JobSeeker, Trumpian sympathies, lying more about vaccine deals, ATAGI and aged-care responsibility and going on holiday, again, and lot's more).
However, it was on his watch that we managed to get some of the world's best public health outcomes (albeit nothing to with him or god but rather led by the world's best public health system which he and his grubby mates would love to dismantle and privatise profit from).
And with UK free trade agreements …
Morrison comprehensively out-negotiated — one might say bulldozed 🤣 an under-prepared Boris Johnson. Australia's graziers and cane growers (and their cunt fucking kids at boarding school) should be raising a glass to him this week and completely ignore all the people murdered to exploit the land we love, so there! 🇦🇺 Moi, lauding Morrison for doing his fucking job.
Just as no newly-elected prime minister looks better than on the day they win office, no ex-PM looks worse than on the day they lose (again, I misdirect and lie! 🤥 ). However, generally, the greater the time since leaving office the more fondly our former leaders are regarded.
John ‘Coward’ Howard, for example, has mainly devoted himself to writing, with an autobiography, an excellent (fascist) history of the post-war era and a recent book of (self-serving) essays. Always ready to lend a hand to Liberal campaigns (and lie), he has settled comfortably into the elder statesman role (so richly deserved after years of dishonesty and racism and alleged war crimes. It goes without saying 🤣 I won't make any mention of him being only the second prime minister to be so utterly loathed he was voted 🗳️ out of office and parliament by his own electorate). 🫢
I also won't mention failed PM Chairman Mal (Turnbull) 'cause he's a cunt but Tony ‘Mad Monk’ Abbott has continued to be a warrior for cunty conservative causes, and has developed a keen international following of ra-tards and like-minded dogrooters. He is an A-list guest at global right-wing gatherings — accompanying me to the Conservative Party conference in the UK, he received a rock star 🎸 reception — just like a poor man's Il Duce!
Back to ScoMo but (without mention of the leaking of sensitive material), the point of the preceding paragraphs is to posit him as having a lucrative future (even if doing so requires serious rewriting of history). 🫨
So, let's completely ignore his 2019 refusal to address some of the worst bushfires in our history and his subsequent secret departure for Hawaii (what can I say? Bad judgement was his byeline!)
I don’t hold a hose, mate. I don’t sit in a control room … When you make a promise to your children, you try and keep it. ScoMo, ducking 'n' diving & blaming his kids — like the dog that he is.
On reflection, and at the risk of contradicting myself 🫠 … his consummate mishandling of the bushfire crisis should have seen a custodial sentence — people fucking died and this happy-clapping cunt fucking lied while giving his 'prayer knees' a fucking workout. And he made use of his cunt fucking kids again, in order to defend the 💰 $100 million sports rorts saga. But even fucking worse was fucking Robodebt where people also fucking died.
Or what about the smaller, but still significant …
It is complete and utter rubbish … I found the whole thing incredibly amusing, I always joke about it … it is absolute and total rubbish.
#ScottyfromMarketingdenying he shat hiself at Engadine Maccas.
When those 12 ships turned up in Sydney, all those years ago, it wasn’t a particularly flash day for the people on those vessels either … There was no slavery in Australia. Scott Morrison, dishonest cweepy chwistian (white) cunt.
We need to … apply or focus on our effort and work together as we did in March and in April and in May and in June and so we will do it in July, August, September, October, November, December … ScoMo, listing months of the year of biblical fucking proportions.
I shit you not, he leaned over and right in my ear he goes, ‘Well, gee, I bet it felt good to get that out.’ Sexual abuse survivor Grace Tame retelling what ScoMo whispered 🤮 into her ear.
In fact, if you look at (any of) the facts, the bad so fucking far outweighs any fucking good this cunt did, that even someone so cheap and disgusting as myself can't defend his fucking cweepy chwistian soggy arse anymore, so, fuck him and fuck his foul god — fuck off 🖕 for fucking ever you fucking dog.
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