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VD Vance 🧛‍♂️ Vampire

I love stories about vampires and blood — some of my faves babe! But billionaire tech-bros have made it a reality with VC blood-suckers like Peter Thiel. And Australians aren't far behind them if you listen to the C🪨al-ition's admiration for VD Vance — Thiel's mentee — another white man obsessed with blood menstruation, but in a good way. 🤗

tampons
@rhsupplies

I'll start this piece by focussing on VD's ‘enlightened’ views (letting me positively position what really is just more right-wing reactionary ra-tardation). And, by doing so, I can describe him in contrast to the odious DJ Trump so his (cynical and false) ‘reintroduction of possibility and the importance of personal choices to communities like the one he grew up in’ provides an antidote to Trump's societal heroin and the myth of the ‘deep state’. 😱

I could also quote Marx and re-define several big words I don't really understand but I won't! 😂 I'll even go so far as to say ‘Left’ and ‘Right’ labels no longer apply (they do but it covers me for hypocrisy and weird stuff).

VD's faux-memoir Hillbilly Elegy rejects conservatives using the ‘detachment’ that drains the ambition of many and claims, instead, says what separates the ‘successful’ from the ‘unsuccessful’ are the expectations they had for their own lives. Even ‘Lefties’ bought into this so get fucked 🥉 losers! (Of course, it's still just an alternative to the grievance politics used by the C🪨al-ition and US Republicans but how fucking /ˈɛr(j)ʊdʌɪt/ can I get!?)

And it also shows just how in touch with his feminine side Vance is. For example, when he was about nine years old he thought he was gay. So, he went to granny saying he was worried about burning in hell for homosexuality. But she said, ‘Don't be a fucking idiot. How could you know you're gay?’ So, he told her it was because he didn't really like girls (still doesn't 😂 some would say!) and all his besties are boys. Granny laughed and asked ‘Do you want to suck dicks?’ and he said ‘Why would someone want to do that?’ She asked the question again and he said ‘Of course not.’ So, she said, ‘You're not gay, and even if you did want to suck dicks that would be okay [because] …

God would still love you [even if you wanna suck 🍌 dicks]. VD's Granny.

I'll even describe his book as ‘thoughtful’ (in itself, a shortcut for ‘don't think about this shit too long, just go along’). Because the politics of ‘possibility and hope’ are mainstays of any progressive agenda, I misappropriate those terms to describe the ‘politics of aspiration’ VD refers to as a good thing! I can even use his wife's parents as exemplars of the type of immigrant we won't complain about! So, this is not racism — it is ‘considered immigration’.

Aha 😂 aha 🤪 aha 😜 aha 😝 aha 🤣 ha!

Which is not dissimilar to men like George 🐖 Christensen who fuck Asian chicks and use that as ‘evidence’ that they are not racists. VD obviously loves and respects his missus so this will make it harder to point out he is a racist who claims that those entering the US illegally are doing so to obtain gender reassignment surgery and terrorise god-fearing white folk. 😱

bloody popsicle
@erol

While he did grow up in poverty, he studied law at Yale University which proves aspiration is a good thing (obviously ignoring that the persona he created to enable his political aspiration is fucking fake). VD's not really a hillbilly; it was buying into the vampiric vision of creepy rich cunts like Thiel, rather than his red-necked granny's homilies, that defined who he is.

I'll even go so far as to claim Vance can ‘communicate on an intellectual level’ (which is somewhat like saying Barnaby 🐷 Joyce is an ‘inner-city elite’) and this explains why he rejects abortion in any circumstances (including rape and incest) and seeks to control civil protests and enforce religious theocracy using military power and for the total control of women's bodies and their menstrual cycles. 🙏

Some of VD's best hyper-feline-masculine lines 😹

[Gender ideology is] childless cat ladies … miserable at their own lives … so they want to make the rest of the country miserable, too … [Government is] pushing far-Left gender ideology — there are only two genders … LGBTQ people and those who support them as groomers … Women choose a path to misery [putting careers over having children] … American men are suppressed in their masculinity … Pursuing racial or gender equity is like the value system that gives [progressives] meaning … They all find that that value system leads to misery.

The entire future … is controlled by people without children, and how does it make any sense that we've turned our country over to people who don't really have a direct stake in it? … How many of the insane replies … are from people without children? Our country's low birth rates have made many elites sociopaths.

[Parents] should have more of an ability to speak … in our democratic republic than people who don't have kids. Americans without kids don't have as much of an investment in the future of this country shouldn't get nearly the same voice as parents … give votes to all children [but] give control over those votes to the parents.

[Journalists are] a group of people dealing with their own psychotic breaks [and who were told that] it's easy to start a family when you're 45 [but] god says otherwise. [Now] journalists … have reached this point where they recognize [sic] that their lives are miserable and unhappy [and] angry [because they're] childless.

vd vance surrounded by vaginas
@ilovepussy

[Medical records of women seeking reproductive health care should be available to law enforcement because] abortion is not health care — it is a brutal act that destroys the life of an unborn child and hurts women … [Police should] pull records to see who had unexplained disruptions to their menstrual cycles.

This is one of the great tricks the sexual revolution pulled on the American populace, which is the idea that like, ‘Well, OK, these marriages were fundamentally, you know, they were maybe even violent, but certainly they were unhappy. And so getting rid of them and making it easier for people to shift spouses like they change their underwear, that's going to make people happier in the long term.’ And maybe it worked out for the moms and dads, though I'm skeptical. But it really didn't work out for the kids of those marriages … Domestic violence is much higher among non-married couples.

The Left uses racism as a cudgel … [and to project their] racial and gender sensitivities on the rest … [They] need to make more people think like that [and be intolerant of intolerance] … I don't want to be called a racist [even if I am one] because I knew it can be career-ending and they can destroy a person's life [even if that person is a racist and deserves to have their life destroyed].

Backed by the above evidence 🤪 I can continue (my own laughable faux-intellectualism) by saying VD has ‘an understanding of ambiguity’! And I'll also point out a paragraph in his book (that's so fucking irrelevant that no-one else found 😹 it) where he describes the contradictions of good policy that smash ideological purity! Fuckin' genius bro! Conservative humility as a ‘balance’ against Trumpian 🐂 💩 bravado! Legend!

USA! 🇺🇸 USA! 🇺🇸 USA! 🇺🇸 Aha 😂 aha 🤪 aha 😜 aha 😝 aha 🤣 ha!

But hey! I'll even say the ‘Right’ had an epiphany after Brexit and Trump becoming president showing the real right-wingers are the workers and not rich cunts who traded being Ozstraaylians 🇦🇺 for business opportunities.

And getting back to ‘grievance’ (in case I get lost in the Über-complexity of my own thoughts) the happy-clapping god-bothering cunts 🌮 🌮 🌮 who make up a huge swath of conservative supporters, see VD as the long-term solution to the control of women and other issues. They backed Trump because he was their best chance of implementing their (putrid) agenda but VD is next-level — he's one of them (not the ‘working class’ faux-billy his 🐂 💩 book wants voters to buy into but) a cweepy chwistian conservative cunt.

bloody fist
@valentinsalja

VD lied about Haitian immigrants eating family pets but it's his longed-for reversal of marriage equality that will be menstrual blood-soaked and that is a lesson that cunts from the C🪨al-ition can't wait to learn. (BTW check out the .pdf dossier compiled on VD. Does the C🪨al-ition have a Project 25? They should. How else will they reverse marriage 🏳️‍🌈 equality?)

Please don't forget what I'm most proud of — that being — I am so dishonest and so devoid of integrity that whenever I am airing my putrid ♨️ pussy — even flies 🪰 die when they alight on it. 🤮

butt ugly but
Guest commentator Putrid Puss-Eh McGuiness has a head like a bashed crab and the personality to match. Before gender affirming surgery, they self-harmed but, now, run an ‘agency’ specialising in social media posts about nothing and advising real dum cunts on how to avoid the 💩 when it hits the fucking fan. They live alone in Zetland, where they fucking belong.